“This too shall pass”

How many times have you heard this phrase?
When something horrible happens, something painful, something unbearable,
a friend, a parent, or even a bystander, will offer these four words of “wisdom” to you.
Have you thought of how many times you yourself may have offered these words of “comfort” to someone else? A family member, a friend, a bystander?

What does it even mean anyway?
Chronologically speaking, yes time passes, he waits for no one. When we are happy everything seems to go by extremely fast. When we are bored time passes painfully slow. When we are in physical pain, time passes excruciatingly slow. When our soul hurts, time seems to stand still as if to let us experience loss, depression, painful realizations to the fullest. Everything passes eventually, leaving space and time to be completed with something else, but memories linger.

“Time heals all wounds”

Physical wounds of course!
Time is a great healer of the body in most cases.
What of permanent body damage? What about the mind or the soul?
That is an entirely different matter.
Memories, loss of  important abilities, loss of loved ones, regrets… no time doesn’t help.

“Out of sight, out of mind”

Partially true, our mind keeps busy throughout our days with daily, mundane things, grocery lists, work tasks, mental notes to self: put clothes on, drive car, walk, brush teeth, bathe, go to sleep.
And just before you go to sleep, when finally in bed, a revision of your day takes place in your mind.
Lists made, boxes ticked, requirements fulfilled, forms submitted, now what?
You start thinking of your life choices, reevaluate your actions, regrets? Many!
An ex that you still miss? A friend that is now a foe? A family member that is gone and that you miss dearly? None of the above ever leave your mind entirely. Your sight? Of course. Your mind? Rarely.

Expressions of comfort are exactly that. They are meant to comfort you, to calm you, to help sedate the pain, but they are only partially true, nothing is ever really forgotten, even if you voluntarily try to forget, a small corner in the back of your head will be filled with the memories you are trying to suppress, a small crack in your heart will always be filled with emotions and scars you are trying to hide.

Live with the pain and the memories, don’t hide your scars, wear them as a badge of honor, all your experiences good or bad are proof that your alive and trying your best. Live your life without judgement and regret.

“Live and let live”.